Where the heck have I been for the last year plus?!?!
Not blogging, that is for damn sure!
How hideous is it to have your last blog post be titled “Depression again?” Like that is some dark shit. If I happened across a blog like that I would be profoundly uncomfortable. But I’m fine. I’m actually great. And I mean that. Better than I have been in a long, long, long, long time.
More to come?
I’m thinking about doing some writing about Battlestar Galactica in the near future (timely!). So stay tuned for that? In the meantime, I am at least going to set my Goodreads account to publish my half-assed book reviews over here so the blog won’t be completely alone, poor baby blog.
Oh also? I have a bunny now!
Cute, is she not? We’ve had her about six months. She’s awesome.
This blog is coming back. I MEAN IT THIS TIME.
Until I get bored anyway.
There is a draft in my WordPress dashboard titled “How to Help.” It was created last May (almost a year ago!). But it’s empty. It’s just a title, nothing else. I wonder what it was supposed to be. I wonder what I planned to write and never did.
There is another abandoned draft in my dash with the excellent title “As long as we’re on the internet, let’s talk about Game of Thrones.” Ha!
* * * * *
When I was in high school I wrote copious diary entries. Writing writing writing all my messy feelings nearly every day for four years. When I was twenty-three or so I read all those high school diaries and became so deeply embarrassed of myself that I destroyed them so that no one else would ever see them.
Now I wish I had not done that. Because now I am so curious about that fifteen year old girl. Who was she? Why was she so ridiculous and sad and scared and why didn’t she realize she could have a crush on some dude in her theater class without it meaning they were destined to fall in true ultimate love forever? Nothing ever happened with that guy, but when he graduated — I was a sophomore — I wrote in his yearbook that I had a huge crush on him at the beginning of the year and wasn’t that silly? I thought I was so daring. I was adorable! The girl I found so embarrassing at 23 I find endearing and almost charming now that I’m 31. I wish I could know her better.
I would like to reach back through the years and let her know that she’ll be ok. I would like to tell her, when she is desperately sad and thinking she’s lost her best friend, that sixteen years later, that friend will still be her friend, that we’ll be living in different countries but through the magic of the internet watching Scandal together every week.
Anyway, I will see you again, blog! Very soon.
Love, your benevolent dictator,